Snowball

I cracked few days ago but it feels like now over a year ago. You know I had clothing crisis what to wear. My closet was full of options but I didn't see any. So I bought to solve crisis. Once I had bought once it was easier doing it twice and third time. Then it stopped. For a while. The crisis came because I unsure of myself. Actually after I came back from Sweden to Finland I've been feeling insecure of my self. Living in Stockholm is like living in New York, people look you in that same way. I've been always a little bit tomboy. Yes I've played with barbies but also with jeeps. I feel uptight middle age woman if I wear blazer and pencil skirt and if I wear blazer and trousers I feel like lesbian.

Gorgeous lady but if I would be wearing those I would feel myself a lesbian. See how silly my mind is? Pic here.

Finding balance is hard. Not just for me but also other people. But about that snowball. At first I bought dark plum cardigan and black lace top. Thought this was me. I need these. I can wear these in casual party. How wrong I was. Knitwear stayed untouched for couple days in hanger. Then I put it on and thought this would be great in next autumn. Wait what? Next autumn? Then I understood that it was fantasy what I had bought not the real life. It's like I had four blazers waiting there if my life would be someday that kind of life where I would need blazers. This current life isn't that kind of life. Then I realized my wardrobe wasn't matching my current life it was matching to fantasy life which I wasn't living on. So from those four blazers I kept one and others will be giving new life in 2nd market. While I was visiting in 2nd market I found Malene Birger's cardigan which is casual a showpiece/keypiece. That is what I need to my life, casual, awesome things which suit my current life not in to fantasy world. Also from same seller I bought blazer which is casual but definitely key piece. So past few days I declare my wardrobe and also tried to find things with would be matching my current life. After this I'm going to try continue stop shopping for rest of the year. :)

I cracked today.

I found myself buying clothes. I know! I'm not perfect.

Last weekend I was at baby's christening and I was like OMG what will I wear! I've nothing! But I end putting up the classics. Like black neat jeans, stripe blouse and black cardigan and golden necklace. To get this outfit another state I put RMS Red lipstick which is crikey red. I can now say it last like no tomorrow. You can eat, drink carefree and it still will stay on your lips. I actually tried to swipe the color off but it still sticked on my lips, note to your self in future don't put in on your dry lips.

The left side is Vogue Rose which had grainy texture but Red was smooth and silky. 

Even though I was classy as french lady I realized afterwards that I haven't made any plan for my wardrobe like use to do (like this goes to office and afterwork, this is casual but classy goes to casual parties, this is classy and goes to more formal parties, this goes to funeral, this goes my everyday life). So instead of trying my clothes which were already in my wardrobe I went in panic and bought black lace top and long cardigan in color of wine. I know I was broking my deal with myself and wondering why I'm so weak at these days like nothing matters. Do I feel like I want to buy more? No. Actually I'm thinking should I return the items. But before returning any items I'll try my clothes on and make a plan. The great thing of my wardrobe it's fully embossed with clothes, the bad thing is I can't see my clothes. I don't know what I do I have there and it's making my life difficult.

The accessories!

Let's do this! This wasn't easy part to me to write just because I had to get through so many pics, choose the best quality and what I could say..well they are all hideous thanks to winter. Sorry no sunlight here in Finland.

Bags & backbags:

Starting from the left there Marimekko's Eppu backbag which is currently my favorite I've fixed this a little bit so I can use it also as shoulder bag. I like the light leather straps and black canvas, is light but then again I can fill it up so much. Good to carry. Next there's 3.1. Phillip Lim's pashli leather backbag which I'm probably going to sell. It's good to carry and yes it spacious and you can also use it as shoulder bag but just something doesn't feel right. Then there's backbag from The Other Stories I'm going to fix it also to  use as a shoulder bag and perhaps sew some pearls on it. Then there's smaller bag from DKNY it has been my most used bags in evening times. Then there's even smaller bag by Little Liftner, army green velvet who can resist?! I couldn't. Then there's two reusable bags Marimekko's logo cotton bag & hippie bag made by my sister. There's missing in the picture the new saddle (brown) by Polo Ralph Lauren.

On the next picture there's classic MK's jet-set bag which I rarely use these days and selling it away, DKNY's leather bag which I'm going to sell and my Fjällräven's backbag which I use when I go to work by bike. This backbag handles every awful weather. I though need to wax it again.


Scarfs:

I'm not so much scarf person. The grey one is Becksöndergaards soft wool scarf my most used item at  autumn/winter/spring time. Then there's Malene Birgers orange and clay Elementary wool scarf, it's nice but not so warm and soft as the grey from Becksöndergaards. Then there's dark grey scarf from Balmuir and white/grey/neon orange from Stylesnob these I use late spring, summer and early autumn time when it's not too cold.

Shoes:

Winter boots of mine.. Brown riding boots from Caprice, long suede boots by Stuart Weitzman (these I may sell), super warm suede boots by Tamaris (these I may sell they are just too warm for me), yet another pair of warm black suede boots with heel by Jana and last Sorel's winter boots which I use during biking in winter time.

After Sorel's "duckish" boots there Ecco's black chelsea boots, Ecco's black suede sculptured 65 boots, Vagabond's fringed suede ankle boots, Adidas's gore-tex sneakers these I use during biking in autumn and spring time and next sneakers are the Nike's which I use in summer time. On the lower row there's my dancing shoes by Guess, nude heels with golden studs by Marco Tozzi, two pairs flats by Wonders and white Puma sneakers. There's missing in the picture the new red flats by Unisa.

Gloves: 1 pair of leather gloves by H&M and one pair red thinsulate gloves by Muji, rest of them are my biking gloves that includes 5 pair biking gloves, they're men's size 7 which also my female size so we share them with my boyfriend.

Hats: Two merino wool beanies (grey and black) by Filippa K and one white woolen hat by R/H studios.

Belts: Three of them (black, brown and vintage navy), unknown brand.

Jewellery:

Oh dear what a mess! So there are some fake metal chain necklaces. Some Pernille Corydons pendants and rings. Some vintage gold bracelets, some new from Tamaris. Pearl necklace from my grandma, some neon choker by H&M (this was bloggers ultimate fav at some time ago..was it early 2000?), neutral color clock by Dryberg&Kern and there's missing in pic the new Tory Burch brown leather bracelet.

So there's 12 necklaces, 4 bracelets, 4 rings and one watch.

How much you've accessories?

The countdown has ended, the tops.

Here's the stuff what I've now and have to manage the rest of 2018!

Tops:

Basic white casual top from 2nd hand market, it's made of viscose. Super cute lace sleeve tops from H&M (material also viscose) I own black, blue, nude and white version of same top. Then there's black party top with faux leather by Mango. And the Banana Republic's new black mock top is missing from the picture.

Shortsleeves tees:

In the upper row has three tee's from Acne Studios, in the lower row is linen tee from Tiger of Sweden and cotton tee from Vero Moda. There's missing new top by New Look.

Longsleeves tees:

The upper row: there's 2nd hand knitted style long sleeve in grey, Baum&pferdegarten army green college, another 2nd hand black long sleeve tee with lace detail. In the lower row is missing another stripe tee then there's one of Filippa K's classic sailor tee and old blue/black linen&lace tee from Zara.

Knitwear cardigans:

The upper row has long light cardigan from Samsoe&Samsoe, peach coloured wool&mohair cardigan from The Lab, dark grey wool&mohair cardigan from Sand same material is also light grey cardigan and then there's classic piece from Filippa K: short black merino wool cardigan.

Knitwear sweaters:

The upper row is full with Filippa K's wool&cashmere sweaters, the cashmere ones has been made by recycled wool. In the lower row has cashmere sweater from Zara and H&M.

Blazers:

The upper row has navy college blazer by Zara, Pull&Bear khaki green bomber, Hugo Boss's black blazer. In the lower row has french style Zara blazer, black&white cotton blazer by Vero Moda and also some Zara's summer bomber style jacket.

Coats:

I own Modström's down parka it's 2nd hand found, Zara's biker jacket and wool&cotton mix winter coat by Mango.

Dresses:

From the left there's Primark's black&white dress very classic piece (my sister used it her wedding dress) then there's old piece from Marimekko rich navy blue and material is wool, it doesn't itchy or anything I usually use it with vintage belt. Then there's another Primark dress, u know the must have black basic dress which every girl should have in their wardrobe, use it in cocktails or funerals. The blue dress in the middle has been most used dress, it's not too warm or too cold.

Bras: I've 4 pcs Stella McCartneys balconette bras (made of pure silk - simply luxury!) and three pieces Calvin Klein's bra's.

So I own tops & dresses together 47 different pieces. Wow that's kind of lot! I wouldn't guess that. Next time I'll reveal trousers and accessories. Until next time! Have a nice week!

About sales!

All the sales has begun! I saw young woman hordering stuff (make-ups, clothes) in her labs while I passed her on my way to grocery store. While I was sitting on tram I deleted adverts about 'flash sale', 'new year's sale', 'it's on sale!', 'sale, sale, sale' they all came from my favorite boutiques and online shops like Mango, Farfetch, Jolie, Traffic People, Selfridges..etc. This would be easiest time to crack. Pretend nobody would knew if I would bought something even though the quilt would ruin me.

At first few days I avoid shops because other people's maniac hoarder behavior can be trigger same maniac behavior on me too. Even though I wouldn't need anything just seeing other people hoardering stuff insanely like the world would end could trigger me weird instinct that I need to buy too. At this time of year I usually do spring cleaning and end up throwing out some good clothes just u know to buy new fresh ones in. This time I actually dig up all my spring/summer clothes up and fulfilled my wardrobe with old clothes so it seems all the time bloody full. I'm actually having difficulties take shirt out off wardrobe and put it in again.

pic here

The final order came and I kept couple of things which I orginally thought like 'no way, this isn't my style' I felt very strongly that way but I kept those anyway 'cos I wanted to give a chance for something new and also I searched in Pinterest some pics how I could use the products in different ways, some tricks work out and some didn't. So from final order of last year I kept black Birkenstock Arizona sandals (classics), Unisa's red velvet flats (oh boy how that color lift up every single outfit in new state), some floral shorts (I don't use floral..or do I?), Polo Ralph Lauren's brown saddle bag actually I still fantasize Gianni Chiarini's brown medium messenger but u know these things.. I now have settle in what I've now. Also I kept Tory Burch brown bracelet, New Look's fab Brooklyn t-shirt,  Banana republic's mock top in black..and yeah that was that I think the rest of I returned.

pic here

So the big question is have I felt urge to shop? Yes, I can't denied it. Now the shopping has change it style, I'm actually shopping what I'm actually need to buy, have been need to buy for a long time like new porridge pot. I also felt need for another frying pan and then I remember hey wait I've one, de Buyer's carbon mineral just waiting for use, it needs several oil burnings so I had just postponed doing it 'cos it sound so hard and the real thing is it wasn't that hard. Then I had bought new shampoo and shower gel, winter time makes my hair and skin very dry almost itchy. And I've bought membership card one of the boulder place, where I go now once in week. But ending shopping has been easier than I thought which is very positive.

My 10 new years promises!

1) Stop shopping for one year (2018). It's a big task to proceed but important one. It's time to learn more about my self like my taste of style and what happens when I can't buy anything to build my self esteem better.

2) Learn how to pointing the direction while biking. Really I've no balance to do that without falling. Lol!

This is my bike I used it when I need to go to work all year round. 


3) Finish the children book and chick lit story.

4) Apply in university reading arts and practice for entrance exams.

5) Be more positive.

6) Glow more.

For that reason I bought another bottle Vintners's daughter botanical active serum.

7) Finish the decoration in living room and bedroom.

8) Make a list places where you wanna eat.

Cafe Twist at Kamppi, Helsinki. Try vegan mud pie it's so good!

9) Find a new job.

10) Take care of my health, eat healthy, sleep enough and exercise a couple times on week.


What's your promises for starting new year?

Happy new year 2018!

It may occur you that I'm already lost in the air but no. On friday I had my wisdom tooth removal the time came out of blue. Apparently there's so many under flue that they were calling through the queue  and suddenly it was my turn. My original time was put in March but now I thought I'm finally finished my flue (yes it was two month long) and healthy so why not take this time and stop worrying that is going to infected most brutal way (yes my colleague got her wisdom tooth so badly infected that they had open her throat to get infection away).  So I grab the offer. And in hell with pain I'm now. :P I can eat only soups, ice-cream very fluffy bread with cheese and tomatoes and yoghurt.

My very last purchase were from internet and this it what I got. It seems that I wanna have some variety. Because you're not sure what you're going to need next year I seem to buy so diffenrent things what was not in my mind. But yet again I tried to be honest with myself. I kept thinking is this me..would I really use this in reality? And trying to imagine places, situation where I would use those. If the answers would be like in art gallery opening I would immeaditely know that it's so false. I haven't been any art galleries even those openings lately, last year saldo is zero.

So I end up buying in my last left hours some floral shorts, red flats by Unisa, leo print flats by Pretty ballerinas, brown leather saddle bag by Polo Ralph Lauren, Birckenstock sandals in color mock and black (the size which fit my foot better is going to keep the other will return and that's that), Tory Burch's bracelet in nude and tan color, Banana Republics sexy grey cardigan and black mock top and New look's brooklyn tee. And that was that the order will be bring to me 5th January or later. I'll see if I keep any of items or not.

About new years eve, it was awful. I saw one guy who has trying to do suicide on the next table. Well  that remind me there's so much in life than clothes. And people has other issues their lives than what to wear. Our festive group was in little shock after seeing this and it killed instantly the party mood.

Well next time I go through what I've now like how many tops, how many tees, how many knitwear from knitwear section and so on. See you soon and happy new year!

Four days left.

Now that I'm finally cutting shopping out of my life and I've few days the do all the shopping sprees I found my self thinking 'What do I need?' and weird thing is I seem to have some idea what I do need to have before time is ending. Like punch of stockings. We all know it's one minute fine and next minute is all ruined some sharp object. Weird thing is I rarely use stockings. So why I need those now?

Yesterday I made list what to buy, it was this:

Get some awesome bracelets like from Valentino, Givenchy, Hermes or Bvlgari!

Get some lovely bags from Little liffner! (You can find these from sale at Net-a-porter)

And THAT was it!!!

Today on my lists has this:

Punch of black stockings.

Black pencil skirt by Armed Angels perhaps.

Black Boss's blazer.

A fab scarf of Balmuir.

Brown leather bag.

Rock shirt by Baum und Pferdgarten.

Minicoin necklace by Pernille Corydon.

Awesome bracelets by Hermes.

It's weird how the list gets growing. Like do I really need those eventually? Time will tell.

Edit: I end buying these:

Black Boss's blazer on sale and matching skirt.

A fab scarf from Balmuir, I thought I'm gonna buy cream colored but I end up buying grey one!

I looked and looked brown leather bag but I didn't found any which I would even 80% loved and so I decided that I won't need any. If it doesn't magically pop up somewhere I need to survive without it. And don't know why I wouldn't survive without it because the last time I owned brown leather bag was umm..perhaps 2010. If I've manage perfectly fine without it till now why the sudden need?

The rock shirt, I just didn't had the money to purchase it.

I bought several Pernille Corydon's necklaces and rings from Nougat store.

Still thinking the bracelets.

No new idea.

This is it! The counting is almost here. Four days make final spurges and that's it for a year. I've promised myself that if I go to London I'm only justified to purchase new nickers and socks. Yes London it's best place by socks. Lol! I know but still it is honestly best place to buy 'cos best variety, best quality and best prices.

I do this for me. I want to know what I really need off my wardrobe, what are essential things. I've a slight understanding what those might be but still I want to be more sure of myself and my style and stop this media nonsense - like if I don't buy this and this I'm not good enough. Really?! While I'm understanding my self more and discovering which stuff is nice and which isn't I'm also getting rid of those BUT not buying more stuff to replace them by better. Yes, I'll accept that if someone else is buying those to me as a gift but that's very unlikely. I do have shopping list but seems it's like never ending. All the time I invent something new to buy so the list isn't really 'finished' or shorter after all. And I'm starting believe that's stopping me getting satisfied by things that I already have in my wardrobe.

If I take all the time what I use shopping and spend it otherwise what it will bring to my life? Will I be more satisfied for my life or hunting more the success? I want to know. I want and need desperately way to change my life from current situation for better situation. My relationship is okay but way I use money isn't - I can't afford buying flat (because u know I spend too much). Well yes maybe in some suburban home which is painted by black paint and is full of used drug needles and that maybe I could afford. But that's not it what I want. So I need to take care more of my career and money. What's now unbalanced - will be back to balance!

Have you notice how blogs came to our everyday life and filled our lives in pretty pictures and stuff what was just one click away from us? Yes, I'm talking about online shopping. It's there for us 24/7. For just us! Go there click something in your basket, purchase it and ohoy it's coming on your way! Do you ask yourself ever did you really need it? How much it will burden the environment? Why you purchased it? How many times you will use it? Nope neither do/did I. I don't think. But I want to start thinking. I read some article about how are our clothes made in those developing countries, how some minor gets killed after sewing final beads into a top after working whole day without any breaks or eating anything. I know you've must been hearing these kind of stories before. I mean I've. But did it change my consumption behavior? Nope. Did it yours?

I sat today at coffee shop. I looked the people who stand in the queue. I saw only labels after labels. After seeing the label I could count how much the individual items cost and how much the whole of outfit cost. Wouldn't be fabulous if you wouldn't be able to do that? That brings it in to my style. I like wearing and using stuff that hasn't got any labels. I don't want to be classified by labels. Do you? If so, why it's so important to you? Less recognizable labels means to me more privacy. Labels are just for marketing, getting people want to buy. I don't want to pay firms that I would be their free marketing space.