Snowball

I cracked few days ago but it feels like now over a year ago. You know I had clothing crisis what to wear. My closet was full of options but I didn't see any. So I bought to solve crisis. Once I had bought once it was easier doing it twice and third time. Then it stopped. For a while. The crisis came because I unsure of myself. Actually after I came back from Sweden to Finland I've been feeling insecure of my self. Living in Stockholm is like living in New York, people look you in that same way. I've been always a little bit tomboy. Yes I've played with barbies but also with jeeps. I feel uptight middle age woman if I wear blazer and pencil skirt and if I wear blazer and trousers I feel like lesbian.

Gorgeous lady but if I would be wearing those I would feel myself a lesbian. See how silly my mind is? Pic here.

Finding balance is hard. Not just for me but also other people. But about that snowball. At first I bought dark plum cardigan and black lace top. Thought this was me. I need these. I can wear these in casual party. How wrong I was. Knitwear stayed untouched for couple days in hanger. Then I put it on and thought this would be great in next autumn. Wait what? Next autumn? Then I understood that it was fantasy what I had bought not the real life. It's like I had four blazers waiting there if my life would be someday that kind of life where I would need blazers. This current life isn't that kind of life. Then I realized my wardrobe wasn't matching my current life it was matching to fantasy life which I wasn't living on. So from those four blazers I kept one and others will be giving new life in 2nd market. While I was visiting in 2nd market I found Malene Birger's cardigan which is casual a showpiece/keypiece. That is what I need to my life, casual, awesome things which suit my current life not in to fantasy world. Also from same seller I bought blazer which is casual but definitely key piece. So past few days I declare my wardrobe and also tried to find things with would be matching my current life. After this I'm going to try continue stop shopping for rest of the year. :)

I cracked today.

I found myself buying clothes. I know! I'm not perfect.

Last weekend I was at baby's christening and I was like OMG what will I wear! I've nothing! But I end putting up the classics. Like black neat jeans, stripe blouse and black cardigan and golden necklace. To get this outfit another state I put RMS Red lipstick which is crikey red. I can now say it last like no tomorrow. You can eat, drink carefree and it still will stay on your lips. I actually tried to swipe the color off but it still sticked on my lips, note to your self in future don't put in on your dry lips.

The left side is Vogue Rose which had grainy texture but Red was smooth and silky. 

Even though I was classy as french lady I realized afterwards that I haven't made any plan for my wardrobe like use to do (like this goes to office and afterwork, this is casual but classy goes to casual parties, this is classy and goes to more formal parties, this goes to funeral, this goes my everyday life). So instead of trying my clothes which were already in my wardrobe I went in panic and bought black lace top and long cardigan in color of wine. I know I was broking my deal with myself and wondering why I'm so weak at these days like nothing matters. Do I feel like I want to buy more? No. Actually I'm thinking should I return the items. But before returning any items I'll try my clothes on and make a plan. The great thing of my wardrobe it's fully embossed with clothes, the bad thing is I can't see my clothes. I don't know what I do I have there and it's making my life difficult.