Snowball

I cracked few days ago but it feels like now over a year ago. You know I had clothing crisis what to wear. My closet was full of options but I didn't see any. So I bought to solve crisis. Once I had bought once it was easier doing it twice and third time. Then it stopped. For a while. The crisis came because I unsure of myself. Actually after I came back from Sweden to Finland I've been feeling insecure of my self. Living in Stockholm is like living in New York, people look you in that same way. I've been always a little bit tomboy. Yes I've played with barbies but also with jeeps. I feel uptight middle age woman if I wear blazer and pencil skirt and if I wear blazer and trousers I feel like lesbian.

Gorgeous lady but if I would be wearing those I would feel myself a lesbian. See how silly my mind is? Pic here.

Finding balance is hard. Not just for me but also other people. But about that snowball. At first I bought dark plum cardigan and black lace top. Thought this was me. I need these. I can wear these in casual party. How wrong I was. Knitwear stayed untouched for couple days in hanger. Then I put it on and thought this would be great in next autumn. Wait what? Next autumn? Then I understood that it was fantasy what I had bought not the real life. It's like I had four blazers waiting there if my life would be someday that kind of life where I would need blazers. This current life isn't that kind of life. Then I realized my wardrobe wasn't matching my current life it was matching to fantasy life which I wasn't living on. So from those four blazers I kept one and others will be giving new life in 2nd market. While I was visiting in 2nd market I found Malene Birger's cardigan which is casual a showpiece/keypiece. That is what I need to my life, casual, awesome things which suit my current life not in to fantasy world. Also from same seller I bought blazer which is casual but definitely key piece. So past few days I declare my wardrobe and also tried to find things with would be matching my current life. After this I'm going to try continue stop shopping for rest of the year. :)

I cracked today.

I found myself buying clothes. I know! I'm not perfect.

Last weekend I was at baby's christening and I was like OMG what will I wear! I've nothing! But I end putting up the classics. Like black neat jeans, stripe blouse and black cardigan and golden necklace. To get this outfit another state I put RMS Red lipstick which is crikey red. I can now say it last like no tomorrow. You can eat, drink carefree and it still will stay on your lips. I actually tried to swipe the color off but it still sticked on my lips, note to your self in future don't put in on your dry lips.

The left side is Vogue Rose which had grainy texture but Red was smooth and silky. 

Even though I was classy as french lady I realized afterwards that I haven't made any plan for my wardrobe like use to do (like this goes to office and afterwork, this is casual but classy goes to casual parties, this is classy and goes to more formal parties, this goes to funeral, this goes my everyday life). So instead of trying my clothes which were already in my wardrobe I went in panic and bought black lace top and long cardigan in color of wine. I know I was broking my deal with myself and wondering why I'm so weak at these days like nothing matters. Do I feel like I want to buy more? No. Actually I'm thinking should I return the items. But before returning any items I'll try my clothes on and make a plan. The great thing of my wardrobe it's fully embossed with clothes, the bad thing is I can't see my clothes. I don't know what I do I have there and it's making my life difficult.

The accessories!

Let's do this! This wasn't easy part to me to write just because I had to get through so many pics, choose the best quality and what I could say..well they are all hideous thanks to winter. Sorry no sunlight here in Finland.

Bags & backbags:

Starting from the left there Marimekko's Eppu backbag which is currently my favorite I've fixed this a little bit so I can use it also as shoulder bag. I like the light leather straps and black canvas, is light but then again I can fill it up so much. Good to carry. Next there's 3.1. Phillip Lim's pashli leather backbag which I'm probably going to sell. It's good to carry and yes it spacious and you can also use it as shoulder bag but just something doesn't feel right. Then there's backbag from The Other Stories I'm going to fix it also to  use as a shoulder bag and perhaps sew some pearls on it. Then there's smaller bag from DKNY it has been my most used bags in evening times. Then there's even smaller bag by Little Liftner, army green velvet who can resist?! I couldn't. Then there's two reusable bags Marimekko's logo cotton bag & hippie bag made by my sister. There's missing in the picture the new saddle (brown) by Polo Ralph Lauren.

On the next picture there's classic MK's jet-set bag which I rarely use these days and selling it away, DKNY's leather bag which I'm going to sell and my Fjällräven's backbag which I use when I go to work by bike. This backbag handles every awful weather. I though need to wax it again.


Scarfs:

I'm not so much scarf person. The grey one is Becksöndergaards soft wool scarf my most used item at  autumn/winter/spring time. Then there's Malene Birgers orange and clay Elementary wool scarf, it's nice but not so warm and soft as the grey from Becksöndergaards. Then there's dark grey scarf from Balmuir and white/grey/neon orange from Stylesnob these I use late spring, summer and early autumn time when it's not too cold.

Shoes:

Winter boots of mine.. Brown riding boots from Caprice, long suede boots by Stuart Weitzman (these I may sell), super warm suede boots by Tamaris (these I may sell they are just too warm for me), yet another pair of warm black suede boots with heel by Jana and last Sorel's winter boots which I use during biking in winter time.

After Sorel's "duckish" boots there Ecco's black chelsea boots, Ecco's black suede sculptured 65 boots, Vagabond's fringed suede ankle boots, Adidas's gore-tex sneakers these I use during biking in autumn and spring time and next sneakers are the Nike's which I use in summer time. On the lower row there's my dancing shoes by Guess, nude heels with golden studs by Marco Tozzi, two pairs flats by Wonders and white Puma sneakers. There's missing in the picture the new red flats by Unisa.

Gloves: 1 pair of leather gloves by H&M and one pair red thinsulate gloves by Muji, rest of them are my biking gloves that includes 5 pair biking gloves, they're men's size 7 which also my female size so we share them with my boyfriend.

Hats: Two merino wool beanies (grey and black) by Filippa K and one white woolen hat by R/H studios.

Belts: Three of them (black, brown and vintage navy), unknown brand.

Jewellery:

Oh dear what a mess! So there are some fake metal chain necklaces. Some Pernille Corydons pendants and rings. Some vintage gold bracelets, some new from Tamaris. Pearl necklace from my grandma, some neon choker by H&M (this was bloggers ultimate fav at some time ago..was it early 2000?), neutral color clock by Dryberg&Kern and there's missing in pic the new Tory Burch brown leather bracelet.

So there's 12 necklaces, 4 bracelets, 4 rings and one watch.

How much you've accessories?

Hello a new week!

I fell on bike last Saturday and hurt my knee and hips. Thankfully my boyfriend was there to help me up. At that point I felt I couldn't stand on myself due to hideous pain on my knee. It was lucky thing that I was near at my home and there was snow in the ground what I was able to push on my knee to get it numb. On the next morning (Sunday) I limp so much that I decide to take a bus to get in my work. I put on the warmest boots which I've, those boots which I've been thinking to sell and thought should I just wait and see in more time to due if I really need or want keep some stuff in my wardrobe even though I'm not using those stuff so frequently than other stuff.

I woke up today Monday morning after seeing several disturbing dreams like one where I lost my control and shopped insanely. I was some place where there was some kind of super sale and they had these shoes and bags. I remember trying some awesome brown wedge shoes which had fur lining inside of the shoe but instead of taking those I choose turquoise high heels boots and light grey snakeskin bag to go with it. Although my mind kept nagging to me this is not sensible choice. I went look those brown wedgies back again but they had taken already. After that I saw this dream where I couldn't find my home. I stand next to run-down old wooden apartment house, felt like ghost house. It was number nine not eight (my house number) I remember opening outdoor and seeing this classic crafted exterior door with glass and I cried.

This week I'm considering should I buy Olympus Pen or not. Some new face mask and facial toner is like the must haves. My skin is dehydrated, red and sensitive. Pai skincare has been my favorite product line all time but I do hate their facial toners pump system, it just sprays too much. It could be a finer. For a substitute I've been thinking Josh Rosebrook's line or the classic May Lindstrom's products. What comes to face masks I've been considering May's honeymud, Mahalo's bean or petal mask and Max&Me's sweet serenity. I manage to order some samples of Mahalo and Josh Rosebrook, though they're coming UK and Canada so it can take some time until I can review those.

The end of Monday was horrible. I end up to broke up metal saw, I didn't know that was something that I could able to do.. I found myself in shower while there was some bug climbing shower curtain, yep I tried to kill it while I was there standing naked. I end up washing the whole bathroom at once. I found out that I had booked relaxing massage and dentist at same day and time. (Oh btw at the dentistry there was a lady who had same last name as me and they mixed our treatments. :D) My boyfriend tried to tickle me and I tried to run away and I got caught to door handle on my knitwear and I stepped on the spike mat which was lying in the floor. Sometimes I feel like I'm secretly Donald Duck. I got also payment reminder of bill that I had already paid. I opened new mulled wine bottle (Blossa) and it taste super bad.

Hopefully the week gets better... :D

The lower parts!

Trousers:

Yep this is the pile of my trousers. In the lowest we have Malene Birger's leather leggings, there's missing in picture French Connection's leather leggings. Then there's a pair of black jeans by Zara, grey jeans by Dromedar, two blue jeans from Zara, black neat trousers by Zara and Custommade, Orange by Hugo Boss some khaki cargo trousers, black shorts by Zara or was it H&M well anyway there's missing in picture new floral shorts and some cosy pants by Lindex and top of the pile is a skirt, yeah I know a skirt! Skirt is from Hugo Boss and yes the blazer from Hugo Boss is same material as the skirt. It's catchy match. But the fabric's display remind me Coco Chanel, have to be extra careful that I won't end up looking like classic granny. 

Knickers: 50 pairs (mainly I've shop all my knickers from Primark, not always so proud doing shopping in Primark but boy they've best models there. Briefs, brazilian, grannies, thongs, body shaping..you name it.

Socks: 60 pairs and these also from Primark, yep they make good socks.

Stockings: 3 pairs at least my stockings made by Mary A. Jalava (usually from recycled yarn).

The countdown has ended, the tops.

Here's the stuff what I've now and have to manage the rest of 2018!

Tops:

Basic white casual top from 2nd hand market, it's made of viscose. Super cute lace sleeve tops from H&M (material also viscose) I own black, blue, nude and white version of same top. Then there's black party top with faux leather by Mango. And the Banana Republic's new black mock top is missing from the picture.

Shortsleeves tees:

In the upper row has three tee's from Acne Studios, in the lower row is linen tee from Tiger of Sweden and cotton tee from Vero Moda. There's missing new top by New Look.

Longsleeves tees:

The upper row: there's 2nd hand knitted style long sleeve in grey, Baum&pferdegarten army green college, another 2nd hand black long sleeve tee with lace detail. In the lower row is missing another stripe tee then there's one of Filippa K's classic sailor tee and old blue/black linen&lace tee from Zara.

Knitwear cardigans:

The upper row has long light cardigan from Samsoe&Samsoe, peach coloured wool&mohair cardigan from The Lab, dark grey wool&mohair cardigan from Sand same material is also light grey cardigan and then there's classic piece from Filippa K: short black merino wool cardigan.

Knitwear sweaters:

The upper row is full with Filippa K's wool&cashmere sweaters, the cashmere ones has been made by recycled wool. In the lower row has cashmere sweater from Zara and H&M.

Blazers:

The upper row has navy college blazer by Zara, Pull&Bear khaki green bomber, Hugo Boss's black blazer. In the lower row has french style Zara blazer, black&white cotton blazer by Vero Moda and also some Zara's summer bomber style jacket.

Coats:

I own Modström's down parka it's 2nd hand found, Zara's biker jacket and wool&cotton mix winter coat by Mango.

Dresses:

From the left there's Primark's black&white dress very classic piece (my sister used it her wedding dress) then there's old piece from Marimekko rich navy blue and material is wool, it doesn't itchy or anything I usually use it with vintage belt. Then there's another Primark dress, u know the must have black basic dress which every girl should have in their wardrobe, use it in cocktails or funerals. The blue dress in the middle has been most used dress, it's not too warm or too cold.

Bras: I've 4 pcs Stella McCartneys balconette bras (made of pure silk - simply luxury!) and three pieces Calvin Klein's bra's.

So I own tops & dresses together 47 different pieces. Wow that's kind of lot! I wouldn't guess that. Next time I'll reveal trousers and accessories. Until next time! Have a nice week!

About sales!

All the sales has begun! I saw young woman hordering stuff (make-ups, clothes) in her labs while I passed her on my way to grocery store. While I was sitting on tram I deleted adverts about 'flash sale', 'new year's sale', 'it's on sale!', 'sale, sale, sale' they all came from my favorite boutiques and online shops like Mango, Farfetch, Jolie, Traffic People, Selfridges..etc. This would be easiest time to crack. Pretend nobody would knew if I would bought something even though the quilt would ruin me.

At first few days I avoid shops because other people's maniac hoarder behavior can be trigger same maniac behavior on me too. Even though I wouldn't need anything just seeing other people hoardering stuff insanely like the world would end could trigger me weird instinct that I need to buy too. At this time of year I usually do spring cleaning and end up throwing out some good clothes just u know to buy new fresh ones in. This time I actually dig up all my spring/summer clothes up and fulfilled my wardrobe with old clothes so it seems all the time bloody full. I'm actually having difficulties take shirt out off wardrobe and put it in again.

pic here

The final order came and I kept couple of things which I orginally thought like 'no way, this isn't my style' I felt very strongly that way but I kept those anyway 'cos I wanted to give a chance for something new and also I searched in Pinterest some pics how I could use the products in different ways, some tricks work out and some didn't. So from final order of last year I kept black Birkenstock Arizona sandals (classics), Unisa's red velvet flats (oh boy how that color lift up every single outfit in new state), some floral shorts (I don't use floral..or do I?), Polo Ralph Lauren's brown saddle bag actually I still fantasize Gianni Chiarini's brown medium messenger but u know these things.. I now have settle in what I've now. Also I kept Tory Burch brown bracelet, New Look's fab Brooklyn t-shirt,  Banana republic's mock top in black..and yeah that was that I think the rest of I returned.

pic here

So the big question is have I felt urge to shop? Yes, I can't denied it. Now the shopping has change it style, I'm actually shopping what I'm actually need to buy, have been need to buy for a long time like new porridge pot. I also felt need for another frying pan and then I remember hey wait I've one, de Buyer's carbon mineral just waiting for use, it needs several oil burnings so I had just postponed doing it 'cos it sound so hard and the real thing is it wasn't that hard. Then I had bought new shampoo and shower gel, winter time makes my hair and skin very dry almost itchy. And I've bought membership card one of the boulder place, where I go now once in week. But ending shopping has been easier than I thought which is very positive.